Your So Much Cooler Online Cont'd

Okay so I replied.

To sum it up all that came out was "Thanks for the email. However, I am not interested. I hope you are able to find who you are looking for".

Yeah.

I didn't really want to give this guy any hope. I have the feeling that if I had been my polite, not so upfront self this guy would not have taken the hint. 

Yes, his profile was THAT bad. Did I mention if you were to print it, it would at least be 6 pages? I could tell by the way he expressed himself and what he had written that his first marriage did not go so well. 

As icing on the cake he decides to let you know upfront in his profile that he has Asthma and polyps in his nose so he talks like he has a cold...

Serious?

How do these guys find me? Not only that but where the heck do they get the idea we have "a lot in common?" I'd like to see you in a saddle with a rope in your hands buddy cause that person has a lot in common with me. Not you. 

Finally I blocked my profile from his. Why? He just gave me that angry hate mail, stalker vibe. 

Good luck guy. And good riddance. 

Your So Much Cooler Online

Or not.

I sign up. Basically because someone (that someone being my mom) offered to pay for it. And as a bonus I signed up on a free site as well. The problem with online dating? No one I am looking to date is typically online. Farmers, ranchers, cowboys...are you hearing me?

I'm looking for this...

Somehow even though I think I've explained that without being rude in my profile. No "please don't email me if..." or "looks are important to me". Assuming that they actually read it I guess is asking too much. Why? I keep getting this instead...

*note I am somewhat of a geek/dork/nerd in my own right and accept that

I appreciate the flirt. It's a compliment. Props to you for putting it out there and saying hi. I, myself, know how tough it is to make initial contact because I'm shy when it involves the opposite sex of whom I am attracted to. I clam up. Quiet as a church mouse and blush red from head to toe if attention is brought in my direction. I'm working on that. 

So I continue to be polite in return. I'll send a thanks but no thanks. After all isn't something better than anything?

But what do you say to something like this?

Wow, you are to lovely of a goddess to be out there single and looking, What little devil let you go out of his life? I would like to as for the honor of getting to know the lovely woman I see and share a lot in common with, my name is J***!

WOW.

(I read his profile. Let's just say it's not any better.) 

I.....uh.....

Got nothing. 

Dear Future Husband,

So I kind of went out in public yesterday. Like this. 

No makeup. Hair a little crazy. 

I just thought I should explain. 

I thought I wasn't going to go out. I thought I was just going to blog in my shorts and tank. Maybe go swimming. That's why I didn't bother. I should have known better. 

I should always know better. 

Something always comes up. 

So if you happen to see me yesterday. I'm sorry. I don't normally look like that when I'm in public. So if we ever meet again. If you ever happen to notice me again. If you were even there at all....I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time to remind myself to expect the unexpected. 

My bad,

Your future wife.

Sunflowers

Why do people feel the need to lie about their situation in life? It will just come back to bite you in the end. I'm a bad liar by nature. It's like a neon sign on my face when I do. Reason #46 why I should never play poker.

I went to a street dance after the stampede two weekends ago and had a blast. This woman likes her country swing dancing. I would like it even better if I could just "let go" and let someone else lead. Working on that. I had some very understanding friends who told me straight out to do just that. Sorry guys.

In the midst of all this fun I met an interesting fellow. He was wondering around, dancing with girls left and right. Disappearing and reappearing again. And as I was dancing with a friend of his, I was at the same time getting the story about him.

That's right guys. Men. You gossip too. It may not be what you call it but it's what happens.

And it is the most amazing conversations when you happen to let it slip out while in the presence of women. Men just let it fly. Women still try to give a little cushion when in the midst of gossip. Men just tell ya straight up. I love that. Rip the band-aid off!

So...anyway back to the dancing....

As I am being twirled around I am getting the goods on this guy. He's new to the group. I've known these other guys for 10 years? And they are great. I learn from the guys that this new guy can be a little annoying, likes to stretch the truth on his profession (he works on a warehouse loading trucks but tells people he walks sunflower fields), and well, can't dance. He looks like one of those toys you press and they collapse.

After we finish the dance my friend then starts in on some more stories. "Don't believe a word he says if he starts telling you some stories...he likes to tell people the bend of his hat rim is cause by walking through sunflower fields..." Ha! Now this is really cracking me up. Of course this new guy is now standing close by so he's seeing every facial expression I am at this point intentionally making in his direction. And he starts moving closer.

I just can't help myself. I have to have a little fun. I've got a small mischievous side. So I say, "great hat...is that from walking through sunflower fields by chance?" It then begins. We converse back and forth and I ask the simple question of whether or not the sunflowers they grow are use for seed or oil. Somehow this shocks the guy (add in a little bit that he may be a little more than tipsy by this point). He asks me "wait..who do you work for?"

I told him the truth. Remember? I can't lie. And somehow he still doesn't believe me. He now thinks I'm some corporate spy from a competing company. This moment has gotten even better than I expected. I'm not having to work very hard to get this guys wheels turning. He's doing it on his own now.

Can you see the sly smile on my face?

He then begins to rapidly ask me some questions in succession (your welcome big sis, I just used another big word in my life). I answer them all truthfully. He still doesn't believe me. He even asks me my name and doesn't believe it. Five minutes later he asks me my name again because he has forgotten it.

I kindly let him know that he already knows it. And I'm not repeating myself. He then asks his friend if this is true. To which he confirms that yes, he does know my name, no it's not Megan, and no I do not work at a sunflower growers.

New guy looks confused. I tell him it's all okay. He'll think of it later. He still looks confused. He spots another girl or a pitcher of beer and walks off. Possibly still in the belief that I am a "spy". I then turn to his friend and smile. To which he says, "that was the best."

Needless to say the point to this post is no matter how honest you are somebody is not going to be the same. You've just got to be able to muddle through the mess and figure out what the BS is and what's not. Most importantly don't fall for it. Your better than that.

Like I told a girl-friend the other day, honesty is always best. I believe that. Not just because I'm a horrible liar. But because there is always someone who knows the truth and will call you on it whether you know it or not.

It also feels better and is the right thing to do. ;-)